Which would you prefer: Black and white, or full color? Or, why everyone needs a Leroy Jethro Gibbs in their Life

Personally, while I thoroughly enjoy black and white movies and TV shows, I infinitely prefer the complexity of full color. The black and white movies and shows have an attractive simplicity about them ... you always know what will happen. There is an order ... a hierarchy. Things don't go wrong, and when they, there is a concrete reason why and a way to fix. It's hypnotic, especially when you are going through a rough patch in your own full color-and-chaotic life.

You can sit in front of these black and white movies and be drawn in by the simplicity. You can say how much you wish your life was so simple. You can try to recreate the seemingly wonderful haven that exists on the screen. Many people get totally pulled into to idealizing that simplistic image and completely lose track of the fact that life is actually full of color.

This brings me to my next point: when you notice someone starting to get pulled in by a seductively simplistic image on the screen please smack them on the back of the head. Don't be an ASS about it, but remind them of all the things that are wonderful about living in full color.

There are many wonderful things about the black and white image shows and movies: everything has a place, all the families are warm and loving, people are happy all the time. But when you look closer (IE after the back of your head has been smacked by your loving and wonderful Boss) you realize that everyone in those shows and movies are strikingly similar. Where is the wonderful diversity that makes the world so bright? Where is the difference of opinion? Where is the dissent?

This is not to say that the black and white shows and movies are great: they're CLASSICS! Everyone should observe them and learn from them ... but living your life like it's all black and white doesn't work for most people. Some, yes, but not most people.

It takes all kinds to make the world go round ... and there is a vast myriad of experience, none of which are less important or less valid than the others.

Thanks, Boss.

Spring Break

So I have a dilemma. I have like 15 days off for Passover during the Spring which also covers Easter. Plenty of time to come home and spend time with my family and Justin and friends ... but it is ALSO plenty of time to go to Greece and/or Italy. Or I could go to England and visit Ellie if she's studying in London ...

I mean, I REALLY want to go to Greece before I leave Israel. It's possible that I will stay here for three years and therefore will have three additional Passover breaks in which to go Greece and Italy ... but who knows what will come up!

Hmm ... I have a few days yet before I need to make a decision ... and this is one to think long and hard about.

!!!עברית

!!אני כוטבת עברית

זה קשה אּבל אני את אוהבת

המחשב שלי לא איהב לכתיב עברית

Hebrew!!! I write Hebrew!! This is hard but I love it. My computer doesn't like to write Hebrew.

The punctuation doesn't like to actually go at the end of the sentence (on the left!) And the key assignment doesn't make total sense, but that's fine. You need to know English in order for the keys to make any type of sense.

Class today went really well. I didn't do as well on the test as I had thought I did, but I still did pretty well. I'm waiting for Justin to get online, and them I'm off to Ben-Yehuda street to shop! I DEFINITELY need more books in English, but I want to get a copy of one or two of my favorite books in Hebrew and start going through it. It will be REALLY REALLY hard to read, but I learned English by pushing myself to read challenging books, perhaps it will work with Hebrew as well.

Israel Bucket List

Now that I'm feeling MUCH better (though I still have a major case of the blues), I am determined to make a plan to truly experience Jerusalem and Israel. This is the second weekend where I have basically sat in my apartment and it is rather depressing and boring. I've been working on the creation of an "Israel Bucket List" and I'm sure that it will grow and change while I'm here, but here it is for a start:

1. Eilat and Petra

2. Tel Aviv (beach and nightlife)

3. Rosh Hanikra

4. Ceasarea

5. Western Wall Tunnel

6. HaOphel

7. Via Dolorosa and the Holy Sepulchre at 4pm (that's when all the different denominations chant, it's supposed to be amazing)

8. Israel Museum and Shrine of the Book (this is currently closed for renovation, but will reopen next year)

9. Shopping for jewelry in the Jewish Quarter

10. Yad Vashem

11. Rosh Hashannah at the Western Wall

12. Observation Point on Mount Scopus

13. Masada

14. Haifa (more than just the mall :P)

15. Attend Shabbat services at a few different synagogues with different affiliations

There will be PLENTY more to add, I'm sure!

Jerusalem is a whirlwind ...

Jerusalem in intoxicating. It's an incredible blend of secular and religious and can leave you feeling completely turned upside down. I knew when I came here that I wanted to learn more about Judaism and you can't help but feel a yearning for a deeper level of observance when you are here.

But there are sooo many different levels! Unless you truly have no issue being stared at, you dress when walking around most of the city as if you are orthodox. You wear shirts that at LEAST cover your collar bones and shoulders (think a t-shirt), though I wear a 3/4 length shirt or a very LARGE t-shirt that has sleeves that come basically to my elbows. You wear a skirt that covers your knees ...

You are surrounded by people who have made Alliyah ... it's easy to get caught up in the excitement and think "maybe I should Immigrate" or "maybe I should be Orthodox" ... but then you realize that means basically leaving behind friends and family ... and it helps put things back in perspective.

For example, there is no way that I could live here alone. I miss my family and Justin too much. Being here for a year is difficult enough. I find myself taking it "one day at a time" so that I don't get overwhelmed by the daunting amount of time that I spending away from those I love. To complete the MA in Archaeology, it would require being here for 3 years. I'm not entirely certain that I can do that. First of all, it's a LOT of money. Secondly, it's three YEARS. 1095 days. I can't possibly fly back every 3 months. The autumn semester is going to be difficult enough as it goes from Oct 18-Jan 29 with zero break. Ok, I get 1 day off for Chanukkah, but other than that, 0 breaks. That's a LONG time to go without seeing my family at home!

I've started shopping for people at home! I have some really creative ideas for people ... and shopping for others is more fun than shopping for myself! There are LOTS of really interesting things here that are outside the normal thought process. There are lamps, hookahs, goblets ... and then there are the normal things: religious jewelry, hamsa's, t-shirts, magnets ... so many different things. I'm trying to decide if I want to go to the Arab and Christian quarters today to do a bit of shopping (and getting out of the apartment would be nice ...). The unfortunate thing is that I'm by myself ... which can be rather uncomfortable when you are walking around.

Defying Gravity

Sometimes life's emotions are best described by a song:

GLINDA: Elphaba, why couldn't you have stayed calm for once, instead of flying off the handle!

I hope you're happy!

I hope you're happy now!

I hope you're happy now you've hurt your cause forever,

I hope you think you're clever!

ELPHABA:

I hope you're happy!

I hope you're happy, too.

I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission

To feed your own ambition!

BOTH:

So though I can't imagine how,

I hope you're happy, right now!

GLINDA:

Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry!

You can still be with the wizzard,

What you've worked and waited for.

You can't have all you ever wanted!

EPHABA:

I know. But I don't want it.

No. I can't want it anymore.

Something has changed within me.

Something is not the same.

I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game.

Too late for second guessing

Too late to go back to sleep!

It's time to trust my instincts,

Close my eyes, and leap!

It's time to try defying gravity.

I think I'll try defying gravity,

And you can't pull me down.

GLINDA:

Can't I make you understand?

You're having delusions of grandeur!

ELPHABA:

I'm through accepting limits,

'Cuz someone says they're so!

Somethings I cannot change

But 'till I try, I'll never know!

Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love I guess I've lost!

Well, if that's love, it comes at much to hight a cost!

I'd sooner buy defying gravity.

Kiss me goodbye!

I'm defying gravity, and you can't pull me down!

Glinda, come with me. Think of what we could do. Together.

Unlimited. Together we're unlimited.

Together we'll be the greatest team there's ever been.

Glinda, things the way we planned 'em.

GLINDA:

If we work in tandem:

BOTH:

There's no fight we cannot win!

Just you and I, defying gravity!

With you and I, defying gravity!

ELPHABA:

They'll never bring us down.

Well, are you coming?

GLINDA:

I hope you're happy, now that you're choosing this.

ELPHABA:

You too.

I hope it brings you bliss

BOTH:

I really hope you get it,

And you don't live to regret it!

I hope you're happy in the end!

I hope you're happy, my friend!

ELPHABA:

So if you'd care to find me

Look to the Western sky!

As someone told me lately:

"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"

And if I'm flying solo,

At least I'm flying free.

To those who'd try to ground me,

Take a message back from me:

Tell them how I am defying gravity!

I'm flying high, defying gravity!

And soon I'll match them in renown.

And nobody in all of Oz,

No Wizard that there is or was

Is ever gonna bring me down!

It currently rings a little hollow, but I'm working on making it my mantra. Really trying not to let stuff I can't control or change bother me. I've chosen my course, and now it's time to defy gravity. It's just not that easy.

I can say that in Hebrew!

I had an epiphany with several girls in class today. We all realized that we know WAY more Hebrew than we thought we did ... and there is a BUNCH that we can say. I'm getting pretty good at reading comprehension but I still have trouble with listening. I do OK when it gets slowed down a bit ... so many words in Hebrew sound alike and when someone talks a mile a minute they all kinda run together.

I think that a few of the girls from class and I are going to go to dinner tomorrow night at my favorite restaurant: Spagettim! Super stoked. And perhaps the Old City? There is some souvenir shopping that I want to do for people ... and I've been on campus for a week now and haven't actually ventured off of Mount Scopus. What's the point of living in the most amazing place if you don't actually go see it? I also want to explore outside of Jerusalem. There is NO WAY that I would drive around the city, but the rental car place is outside if I want to go up to the Galilee ... and I really want to go to Tel Aviv. I'm thinking chillin' at the beach. Sun, Mediterranean waves ... not really that interested in the CRAZY nightlife I keep hearing about (in Israel, it's the City that Never Sleeps. When asked "what do the young people do in Jerusalem for fun" the answer was "go to Tel Aviv." ha bloody ha). The thought of partying until 8am is not particularly appealing ... but the beach DEFINITELY is.

I don't REALLY want to go off on my own, however, so I'm on a quest to find people to go exploring with. *ponder*

Well, it's back to studying for me ... major test tomorrow.

I'M RECONNECTED TO THE WORLD!

After what seems like an ETERNITY, I finally have the internet hooked up in my apartment. Let me review what has happened in the past week:

Monday, August 3: Left Jacksonville on route to Tel Aviv. The plane ride to both Newark and Tel Aviv were fine. I sat in one of the bulkhead seats on the 12 hour flight to Tel Aviv which meant that I could move my legs a bit which was nice. I put my backpack underneath my legs like a footstool, took an ambien, and passed out for much of it. I was rather emotionally exhausted and had a difficult time getting on the plane in Newark. Don't get me wrong, I love Israel (and now that I'm in classes I'm pretty settled) but I still haven't gotten over wishing that when I'm sick or having a hard time that I can just go home. Knowing that life at home is moving on and going forward, without me ... it's very difficult. I want to be a part of everything that is going on at home. It was hard leaving my grandmother. It was hard not having even seen Justin when I flew back for the funeral ... it's all just hard.

Tuesday, August 4: I arrive in Tel Aviv and take a cab to the Regency Jerusalem (thank you, Mimi!!!!!!!). I check in to the hotel and call up the spa and ask if there was still space for a massage and that a male masseuse was fine with me. I made the horrible mistake of asking for a deep tissue massage ... boy did that hurt like hell, but felt good at the same time. I had room service (AMAZING pasta). I had a great night just relaxing but was a little unsettled by the fact that I was developing a cough (stupid airplanes, they are illness incubators).

Wednesday, August 5: FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! I head over to campus and get my first taste of what security is like: I need to present my passport to the security guard who goes through all of my personal belongings before allowing me to enter the campus. The problem is this: I was dropped off at the start of the Social Sciences building ... I need to get the Boyar building ... which is nice and tucked away ... on the other side of campus. So not good. So I lug my stuff all over campus trying to figure out where I'm going and finally run into these two nice Israeli girls who are going the same way. They inform me that "you know, it's not a requirement to bring all your belongings to school every day. All you need are your books!" Helpful, these two were. Whatever. They help me lug the bag to Boyar and I try to figure out where I'm going to check in. I follow the signs for reception down to the first level and leave my bag in the "luggage room"and follow MORE signs up to the 4th floor (or was it the 5th??) either way, I sign in, fill out some paper work and wait to be called. Then they ask if anyone will need to check into housing. I do, so I raise my hand and I get to cut to the front of the line. SWEET. I get my ID card via the webcam on her computer (wasn't THAT what the 8 passport size photos I had SHIPPED HERE WERE FOR??????? Ugh, and they were so much more flattering, too) and she tells me that I should hustle downstairs and take the shuttle to campus and then hurry back for classes. Uhhhh whaaaat??? So I jump on the shuttle and make it to Kfar HaStudentim (student village) and check in, get my keys and make my way to my assigned room. I unlock the door to the bedroom and ... someone elses stuff is in there. Crap. So I go back out ... and the elevator's have stopped working. Double crap. So I decide to leave my stuff in the apartment and go ask what's going on ... perhaps I was supposed to be in room 5, not 4??? So I go back to the housing office and tell them what's happened and they assign me a new room in a new building. Craaaaaaaap. So i walk back UP the 9 flights of stairs, get my belongings, go DOWN the 9 flights of stairs and get to my new building. The internet office happens to be downstairs so I pop my head in and tell them that my room number has been changed. They write it down and tell me it should be set up in 24 hours. HA-HA-HA. I go BACK to housing, hand them the old keys and ask for directions back to campus. Seriously, it's mile walk ... and it IS uphill both ways. Stupid hills. So, I make the mile hike, back to Boyar and go back to where I started. They look surprised to see me "But you're supposed to be in class." "well, Yes, but I don't know what class I'm in, or where it would be ..." "Ah, talk to Gila." "ummm, where would she be?" So I go off to find Gila ... and she informs me that I'm in Alef Advanced-14 which will finish Alef in a few weeks and then finish Bet by the end of Ulpan. Ummm REALLY??? She writes me a note admitting me to the class, tells me where to go and I'm on my way. I get into class and find a seat ... and realize I have no idea what is being said. By anyone. I try to explain this fact to the professor who tells me that it's fine, i'll be ok. Um ... NO I WON'T!!! I find the person in Humanities building who is charge of moving people around ... and she says to come see her first thing in the morning. I wander BACK over to Boyar to wait for the bus trip to the mall (I am in DIRE need of shampoo and conditioner ... and a pillow). I find what I need in about 20 minutes and decide to go to Pizza hut with the rest of my time. BTW: Pizza Huts in Israel are nice establishments not little fast food joints. I have dinner and make my way back to meet the group and head back to campus. I meet my roommate, Dvora (she's AMAZING) and head to my room to unpack. Dvora is in Level Gimmel (Alef, Bet, Gimmel) so she can EASILY help me with my homework and tells me that yeah, I should switch levels, but that my Hebrew is much better that I think it is *:D*

Thursday, August 6: I am Goldilocks and the Ulpan. I go to see the level changing lady first thing and she decides to put me in Alef Advanced-13. Oh yeah, that should be LOADS different from 14. Brilliant. Aaaaand it's not. The teacher is quite nice, but thinks that I'm a complete IDIOT and sends me back to change levels again. This time they put me in Alef-Intermediate 6. I was talking CIRCLES around them and the teacher kicked me out. Again. So I go back and get places in Alef 10. PERFECT. The teacher is amazing, it's the right mix of "I know that!" "I don't know that!" I'm happy. Then Gila walks in and tells us that there are too many people in this class and that we are going to be split into 3 the next day. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I go back to the room after class, and decide to chill out for a little bit. I open my window to let in the breeze ... and am attacked by a pigeon. So not ideal. I run around the apartment screaming and waving a pillow at the damn bird until it wanders back out. I decide that I've had quite enough nature and chilling and walk to the supermarket. Ok, shopping in a new grocery store is intimidating. You never know where things are, they have different brands ... it's kinda 1000000 times worse in a foreign country. Where the labels are in a completely different language. I know enough Hebrew to kinda guess what most things are (and there are pictures which help. Note to food producers: ALWAYS PUT PICTURES ON THE LABEL) but it's hard to know what cheese is what, what type of milk that is ... is that yogurt, or sour cream?? After being scared in the dairy isle, I decided to stick with veggies and obvious things. I got humus, cucumber, tomato, water, bread, and chocolate spread. And TP. And walked back to my apartment.

Friday, August 7: The only Friday that we will have class. I walk over to the Humanities Building, where we meet, and see that I've been moved to another class. Again. Major bummer. I head over and the teacher is COMPLETELY confused to see us. She normally teaches level 7 ... but we are not level 7 ... and we don't know where they've gone. So she teaches us until the break when we ALL have to walk over to Boyar to sing songs for Shabbat. Interesting. I stay to register for the Shabbat dinner that night and make it back to class just in time. But the people in the room are completely different ... WTF? So I go BACK to the room I was in YESTERDAY and see my name on the door there. Seriously? So I go in. The teacher calls roll ... and I'm not on it. Rather than have me go outside with the other people who are clearly confused, she just tells me to sit and she'll add me so we don't waste time. But but but but but ... FINALLY Gila comes in and says that she has the list of people who are supposed to be in this room and if we could please come outside with her if we're not on the list. I'm not on the list. She takes me to a NEW room where the rest of my class is waiting. With a new teacher. Again. We have a test on the first 110 pages of the text book. No problems there. And I head back to the village to unwind before dinner. I pick out a nice, conservative outfit and, at 7:50pm head down to the gate to meet up with everyone. Dinner is AMAZING ... but not at all traditional ... except for the food. The food is STUPENDOUS and traditional. I get back wait to speak to Justin ... that mean 1am here. And he doesn't answer. Again. And I'm sick ... so I call mom and dad to cry and bitch and then pass out.

Saturday, August 8. Shabbat. I observe it in the most literally way: I SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP into the afternoon. Mom calls me around 1pm my time to tell me that Justin called her the night before to tell her that he's been trying to get hold of me but that his phone isn't cooperating. GRRRRR. I then spend a lovely Shabbat afternoon reading and just generally unwinding. I finally manage to get hold of Justin and find out that his grandfather's beloved dog had been put down the night before :(. For a day in which I didn't do much, it really went by fast!

Sunday, August 9: Back to school! We got our tests back that we had taken on Friday. I got a 91. I think this means that I should TECHNICALLY move up to Alef-12 ... but I'm not moving! I understand what's going on and there is a bunch of vocabulary that I am just now learning ... or had learned and COMPLETELY forgot ... and with all the other changes going on, I'm perfectly happy staying where I am and having an easy start to the Ulpan. It will be plenty tough later on! Plus, I have a year of more Hebrew. The cold that started when I got off the plane is getting worse with this really irritating cough so I decide to hit the sack pretty early.

And now we're to today! Still not feeling so hot ... I really just want to get over being sick and be healthy so that I have the energy to explore! I have plenty of time during the day to get away from Mount Scopus and down to the Old City ... or the New City ... and I'm really excited to get started. Actually ... that has to happen soon ... because the bank on campus and the bank down the street don't accept my card ... and I have 20 NIS left ... lo tov.

On the road again ...

And I'm back at an airport. About to board my 2.5 hour flight to Newark, 2.5 hour layover, 12 hour flight to Israel, 45 min cab ride to Jerusalem. Oy ... I will post an update when I get to the hotel on Mount Scopus ...